KAYE

By Jen Ho, Contributor

Photo by, Shervin Lainez

Meet KAYE

KAYE, the solo project of Charlene Kaye, remains one of the most electrifying, riveting local acts around since the project’s inception in 2016. Invigorated by her desire to fight for underrepresented female narratives and bring these crucial voices to justice with each unrelenting strike, Charlene’s long-anticipated debut LP “Conscious Control” is a sonic, cathartic immersion into her trials and tribulations, of which she emerges victorious as her own self-being.

In this interview, we converse with Charlene about “Conscious Control” in conjunction with her identity as KAYE, fueled by her inspirations, life-long collaboration with her sister, and mission as an AAPI womxn creator.

What was officially the first song you wrote in "Conscious Control", and when did you write it?

I wrote all the songs in a furious period of a few months, but I think the first one was “Closer Than This.” I was going back and forth with this guy being really noncommittal and vague because I really wasn’t in a place to be vulnerable or open, basically stringing him along and acting like kind of a fuckboy. If you’re a woman you’ve most likely dealt with that guy...but then when I started writing this song and reading the lyrics on the page, I was like oh shit...I AM that guy.

When did you realize that the songs you were writing became the journey towards an album?

I think it naturally progressed that way—where eventually it just became obvious that this was a very defining chapter in my life and that these stories belonged together. And that there are musical motifs (for the nerds!) that exist from start to finish—for example, the Too Much chorus comes back as these ghostly backing vocals in Conscious Control, and the chords to the bridge of Next Life Around are the same chords as Kana Tevoro.

Your "Howl" BTS was fucking hilarious.

THANK YOU. I feel seen.

I notice that you and your sister's childhood audios are featured throughout the album, and the two of you collaborate together frequently on your music videos! 

When did that start and how long has that been going? Do you have differences or mostly go in with the same wavelength?

Yes! Liann and I used to run around the house with a tape recorder, making up stories and lots of fart sounds around the house. You can actually hear her making fart sounds in Tender Shepherd, which is hilarious because it’s supposed to be this very tender Christian lullaby.

We’ve been working together for...15 years now? Something I’m proud of is that our limited resources have never stopped us from making stuff. Our first video was shot in college with no budget, just all these paper shapes I cut out of cardboard, and it was very childlike, but there’s something special about it because we were just so determined to do ANYTHING. I like to think we both make things with that same scrappy spirit today.

You have a killer instinct with your videos, and though visually it's not so, the vibes of your visual projects weirdly remind me of like, Fight Club???? Is that really weird?

That is a HUGE compliment, I really fuck with Fight Club. My favorite podcast is Still Processing and I just listened to their episode “Psychobros” about the time Brad Pitt wore a minidress in Rolling Stone—it’s soooo good. 

Part of the superpower of being an artist is that I can take a really shitty situation and turn it into something beautiful. So with my videos, I love creating these fantastical alternate realities. And how that translates might be like...I want to walk through the desert and smash a flying V guitar wearing a 40-foot long cape. So maybe that was my Tyler Durden coming out.

Who was THAT artist (or song, or album) who/which gave you the lightbulb epiphany about the role music will play in your life, or was it slow-brewing?

When I was 18, I saw Feist at the Blind Pig in Ann Arbor. It was the first rock show I’d ever seen of a powerful woman who could just aggressively play guitar and own her body and sexuality so effortlessly. She was hanging out at the merch table after the show—the club probably only held 200 people—and I couldn’t even talk to her because I was so gobsmacked by the show that I knew nothing I said would have mattered. I was toast!

Someone else I really admire is Beck, who is so jaw-droppingly prolific and reinvents himself with every record. He really has played the long game with his career, which I strive to do—but in our cultural landscape it’s harder for women, what with pop music’s fixation on female youth and beauty. 

Tell me more about that.

Well, it’s true that men can age and evolve into multiple stages of a lifelong career, and women in entertainment are required to look 25 forever. After Kristin Wiig was on SNL recently, all the comments were like “oh, did she get a nose job? Oh, she’s looking a little rough, she’s not aging gracefully.” We can’t win! I’m heartened to see women like St. Vincent and Beyoncé approaching their 40s and doing the most interesting work of their career. I’d like to think I haven’t even scratched the surface of what I’m capable of yet. 

Do you ever wish you had more fame?

Somebody tweeted after the Meghan Markle interview: “celebrity is an abusive institution that harms everyone who lives inside it.” I’m very happy to be where I’m at—at a level where I can make whatever I want, and still have anonymity. I’m so glad I never blew up in my twenties or earlier before I really knew myself. 

I do want to be able to tour and of course, I have pipe dreams like playing SNL someday (also because I’m a huge SNL geek) but I create everything that I create with such ferocity BECAUSE I have a grounded private life, and I don’t know if that would be compromised if I got really famous. I don’t know how it would be if I couldn’t walk around New York as a completely anonymous person, which is one of my favorite things in the world to do. So I’m happy with where I’m at, and I’m so grateful that I’m able to have the depth of connection with my fans that I have, which I don’t know would be scalable on a larger level. 

Advice you might give to other AAPI aspiring creators?

Representation makes us believe it’s possible to tread a certain path because it’s been tread before by others. So without any precedent set, you end up battling this intense impostor syndrome and constantly feeling like you’re climbing uphill trying to get people to believe in you. It’s hard to be what you don’t see. I never saw any dope Asian lady rockers when I was a kid, so I try to be that for the younger version of myself—even if nobody cares but me.

I guess I would also say, try to find your people. My community of AAPI musicians and creatives in New York is STRONG, and I am so grateful to have this chosen family here in New York.  To know we are all in this together propels me to continue creating fearlessly, 

Thoughts and/or feelings about the current (& historical) AAPI violence & discrimination?

The day after the Atlanta shootings, I was rocked and I couldn’t stop crying. The anger that this is not new to me as an Asian person; if you’re Asian in America you know what it feels like to be dehumanized and othered because you will never look like you are “from” here.  

Today, at the time of writing this interview, I had someone yell at me “Go back to Korea, go back to Japan, motherfucking bitch.” And even as I cried through my rage, I had to laugh because he didn’t say China, which is where my ancestors are actually from. I hate that I, and so many of my loved ones, have become numb to these occurrences because they are so regular. But I know who my people are, and I know that I am supported and loved by my inner circle. My friendships are my blood right now—it’s deep.

As someone who has lived across the world -- If you could take a sabbatical anywhere in the world (or an other-worldly universe), where would you go, and what story would you create for yourself if you had to be undercover?

I just want to go to Hogwarts. I don’t care if that makes me basic.

Hogwarts is not basic at all! Fuck the haters, they can go cower in their stupid muggle-squib caves! What’s your House, or hybrid house? Mine is Gryfflepuff 

Gryffindor, Ravenclaw rising.

Would you rather:

Explore the entirety of space or the deepest depths of the ocean?

Space!! I love Cosmos and Interstellar and there's so much space imagery on my record. Even though I was born in Hawaii I'm not really an ocean person...although after watching My Octopus Teacher last night, I'm like...okay, I get it.

Know the history of every object you touched or be able to talk to animals?

I actually had a dream the other night where my cat and I were in a pool on top of the Empire State building, and he could talk! He had the voice of a little boy and he said, “I love you, thanks for being my mom!” *10000 crying emojis* so...yeah, the latter.